Pop Tarts
by prouvaires
Summary: .:For Ada/Pyrolyn-776:. “Oh, Shane! How simply spiffing to hear from you, old chap.” “Caitlyn, why are you doing a really bad British accent?” “Because, Shaney-boy, it’s FUN." ... Enjoy :


**For Pyro! I hope you enjoy it.**

~x~

Shane got the feeling it hadn't gone too badly with Mitchie.

At least, she only threw a vase rather than a blowtorch at his head, which he dodged anyway. Then he had left her apartment quite hurriedly, pressing speed dial on his cell.

"Cait?" he said when she finally picked up.

"Oh, Shane! How simply spiffing to hear from you, old chap."

"Why are you doing a really bad British accent?" he asked confusedly. He could imagine her face breaking out into a wide grin on the other end of the phone.

"Because, Shaney-boy, it's _fun_. And I understand that you don't have a great concept of _fun_, but believe me, I do, and I'm cracking myself up right now."

Shane sighed. She really screwed with his head. But at least she had dropped the accent.

"Well, Caitlyn, as much I appreciate – not – your humour, you may be sobered up to know that I told Mitchie."

"Told Mitchie what?" Caitlyn asked blithely through a mouthful of food.

"You know what – what are you eating?"

"A pop tart. It's raspberry flavoured, very tasty. I would offer you a piece but the last time I crammed a piece of Pop Tart through the receiver I had to buy a new phone, remember?"

"What do you mean _you _had to buy? You made me pay for it!" Shane exclaimed, and Caitlyn laughed softly.

"Oh yeah, so I did. It's your fault really, you shouldn't be such a push-over."

"Anyway, back to giving Mitchie the dreadful news."

"Yes?" Caitlyn asked, the laughter gone from her tone.

"She threw a vase at me."

Shane heard what sounded like hurriedly stifled laughter on the other end of the phone. "Don't laugh!"

"Did it hit you?" Caitlyn wanted to know.

"No, it missed," Shane told her, and she sighed in what sounded like disappointment.

"You're a cruel woman," he said, and she laughed.

"Yeah. So, she wasn't too pissed that you totalled her car?"

"I did _not _total it. I just smashed it up a bit. And I'm going to pay her back."

Caitlyn laughed outright. "You are, are you?"

"Shut up, you're just – "

There was a brief crash from Shane's end of the phone and Caitlyn froze, her mouth full of Pop Tart.

"Shane? Shane, are you there?"

"…ow…"

"God help me Shane tell me what happened or I'll set your apartment on fire."

When he eventually answered he sounded both embarrassed and in pain.

"I walked into a lamp post," he groaned, and Caitlyn burst into hysterical laughter.

"It's not that funny," Shane protested crossly, and Caitlyn muffled her laughter.

"Okay, superstar, you get yourself home and I'll put some ice on it for you," she said, and he smiled.

"That's way I love you, Caity."

"I love you too, Shane, but call me Caity one more time and I'll lock you in the boiler room."

"Oh no, I'm terrified," Shane replied sarcastically.

"I'll put Goliath*3 in there too!"

"Goliath Cubed? What happened to Goliath Squared?"

"That cat one door down ate him."

"And so you went out and bought a _third _one?! Cait, why do you even like tarantulas?"

"Because they creep you out so much. Oh, and if you don't hurry home, _dear_, Goliath*3 might just somehow manage to escape, and I know he's been considering eating all your rare fishies in that tank for a while now."

"Caitlyn, he's a spider, he can't consider anything! And even if he could he wouldn't tell you that he was!"

"Shut up. I mean it, he will mysteriously escape."

"Okay, okay, I'm on my way."

Shane hung up with a grin. Caitlyn was totally barmy but she always brightened up his day.

~x~

**Just for the record, there is a real Goliath***3** and he lives in the biology department in my school. Goliath*2 was a large spider living near our study that the rabbit ate by mistake (don't ask), SquareRootGoliath is a money spider that is still living in the corner of my maths classroom, and the original Goliath is still a squished mess near my seat in Choir. I didn't squish him, Michael did, and the cleaners refuse to clear away his remains. I put daisies by his body occasionally, just to make people wonder what the hell's going on.**

**And I can't get the stupid superscript to stay. It looks a lot cooler on word.**

**I hope everyone enjoyed, and if you favourite without reviewing I'll lock you in a boiler room with **_**every single Goliath **_**there has ever been.**


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